A Public Service Announcement

Dear Fellow Drivers,

Everyone has bad days.  Eventually, everyone will most likely break down in the middle of the road at some point in their lives.  But when you do, please do all of your other fellow drivers a favor: MOVE OFF THE ROAD.  I understand that some of you are not experienced enough in the ways of automotives to understand how this is done, and so I will explain it, and then you can plead ignorance no longer.

• If your vehicle still starts, start it and drive it to the burm
• If your vehicle will not drive the whole way to the burm, start it and shift into Neutral
• If your vehicle will not even start, turn the key just shy of starting it, press the brake, and shift into Neutral
• Once you are in Neutral, please keep your foot on the brake pedal

From here on out, you're going to need the help of at least one other person.  Despite how it feels at the time, it is NEVER, I repeat, NEVER a good idea to leave your car in neutral with no one behind the wheel.  We will now assume you have another person, who we will refer to as "helper" (**NOTE:  "helper" should not be under 16 years of age **), and for the sake of argument, lets say "helper" is the stronger of the two of you.

• You stay behind the wheel with your foot on the brake, while helper goes behind the car
• You take your foot off the brake, and signal to helper to start pushing.  
• At this point, a miracle happens, and, as long as you are not facing up a mountain, your car will begin to roll easily (Note: If you are pointed uphill, it would be wise to have helper push from the front, and steer in reverse to the burm)
• Get your vehicle off of the road, and put it in park.

DONE!  Congratulations.  You have successfully avoided causing an accident or an area of traffic congestion.  

At this point you may require more assistance, such as gasoline or a new fuel pump, but all of that can be dealt with.  You have avoided the main danger, and are now a contributing member of society.  

This has been a public service announcement made necessary by the 2 carsI have pushed off of the road in the past 2 days.