Ridiculous FTW

I know.  5 posts, 1 day.  Ree-diculous.  You might think so, and you would be correct.

But there's something that you don't know.

Yes, you know that I clearly had limited social interaction today, and you can tell that I probably don't have anyone to talk to right now, and again, you'd be mostly right.

But what you don't know is that I've had all of these posts bottled up for a long long time, and I've got a lot of things to say.  I even started a post called "Topics for Future Posts" just to get them out of my head and onto paper (eh).  There's so much I want to say, so much I have to say.

So buckle up.  We're going stream of consciousness here to try and get rid of some of it.  Reduce the inventory, if you will.  And we're off:



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Now I'm nervous.
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I can't seem to let go of any of it.  What if you think its dumb?  What if telling the whole wide world leaves me exposed to ridicule and awkwardness.  What if its things I wish I hadn't put up?  I could probably take it down later, but some of you might have read it.
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Ok.  Lists.  Lists are semi-safe places to start.  Perhaps I'll begin with listing things, and expand on them if desired.  Ok.  Go big or stay home.
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1. I want to have babies.  Like, soon.  But thats not in the plans for any time soon.
2. I want to own and run a working hobby farm
3. I need to somehow get my dog to stop air-pooping
4. It is my goal to be more open about the Amazing God who has set me free from chains of death and a life lived in misery, shame, fear, and uncertainty to live a life full of wonder and freedom and joy and thankfulness and wisdom.
5. I would like to have more friends, better friends
6. I should be a better friend.  I wish I didn't forget things as often as I do.  I wish I were a more reliable person.  I try to write things down, set alarms for myself, keep a calendar, everything.  Really, with all of the organization measures I take, its nearly impressive that I'm still so unorganized.
7. I like where I live when its clean.  When I find cockroaches, I want to move.  One crawled on my neck once.  I cried for 25 minutes.  Deep, sobbing cries.  I felt completely violated.  Now I won't be able to sleep tonight.  Also, note that I live in the South, where cockroaches are inevitable, rather than in the north, where they are often the result of unclean living and bad conditions.
8. I am working at being more involved in my church, not because I feel that God will punish me or be disappointed in me if I don't, but because I'd like to meet more people and make some friends (see 5). As a result, I'm considering hosting a small group next time new ones start up (next month maybe?)  It will encourage me to: (a) attend regularly, (b) reach out to people, and (c) keep my house clean
9. I start my new PhD program in the fall.  I'm excited about it, and I like it WAAAAY better than math.  But still, I'm craving a family of our own right now (1), and everything else just seems annoying.
10. I'm so tired I should have gone to sleep hours ago.
11. I'm afraid I write things on here just for the results.  Just for comments and followers and people "like"-ing it.  Thats... not ok for me.  Note to Self: Keep an eye on that. 
12. There are books I'd like to tell you about.  Books like
1. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
2. For Women Only
3. Wild At Heart
4. Financial Peace
5. The Fountainhead
6. The Bishop's Mantle
7. The Goal
8. Total Forgiveness
9. Frommer's Costa Rica 2008
10. The Craft of Baking
11. The Impressionists
12. The Big Book of Small Home Repairs
13. Antiques Roadshow Collectibles
14. Captivating
13. I have many favorites.  Perhaps too many, making more particular than selective.  Favorites I'd also like to share with you.  Such as
1. Candy: BB bats, chocolate and strawberry
2. Ice Cream: Turkey Hill Green Mint Chip
3. Animal: Horses
4. Time of Day: Late afternoon
5. Holiday: Independence Day
6. Shampoo: John Freida Brunette
7. Laundry Soap: Arm & Hammer with Oxy Clean
8. Face care: Aveeno
9. Cookie: Almond Brickle Chip
10. Cookie: Orange Cookies
11. Fruit: Strawberry & Watermelon
12. Type of Milk: 2%
13. Type of Coffee Drink: 1/2 hot chocolate, 1/2 coffee
14. Favorite Number: 21 & 17
15. Movies: Wild Hearts Can't be Broken
14. I also have stories.  Stories about me and my life and the things that I've done and experienced before that you don't know about.  I want to share those stories.  I also want to share stories about how big my God is and all the stuff he's done for me.  Important stories.
15. And I have dreams and things that bother me and problems of the heart.  I have ideas, things I want to change and do.
16. I just realized that my sweet manly and loving masculine husband is not on my list.  And I love him more than all of the other items above this one.  But I'm going to be trying to keep a tight-ish lid on that one area, because its sacred and special.  Although I can't wait to tell you about how we met and fell in love and continue to fall into it.

>SIGH<

Well, I feel better now that I've gotten that out.  A schedule usually works pretty well for me.  Perhaps I'll do a different sort of topic on each day, interspersed with the goings on of my life and pictures of my annoying precious dog.  I need to learn how to make tabs on my page.  I feel, for some reason, like that would help.  I'm also going to stop posting on facebook that I've posted.  I think that might help with (11).

Finally, I have to share this verse that I read last week.  Its been hanging onto me, and I can't let it go.  Perhaps it will give purpose to all of this nonsense.

"Then He said to me, 'Son of man, I am sending you to the sons of Israel, to a rebellious people who have rebelled against Me; they and their fathers have transgressed against Me to this very day.  I am sending you to them who are stubborn and obstinate children, and you shall say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God.'  As for them, whether they listen or not - for they are a rebellious house - they will know that a prophet has been among them'. "  Ezekiel 2: 4&5

I am not implying that you, the person reading this, is a particularly rebellious person.  I'm casting no judgement on you at all.  But the part of this verse that stuck with me was was the end of 5,

"...whether they listen or not... they will know that a prophet has been among them"

As a disclaimer, I do not believe myself to be a prophet.  But I do love and follow Christ, and this gives me purpose, to speak the truth of God, so that when you leave here (or hanging out with me in real life), you will know that I do.  That is my overwhelming passion, my overriding urge.

Thank you for taking this crazy ride with me today.  Goodness.  But hopefully I've ironed some things out in my own life, and you don't feel like I've taken 23 minutes of your life that you can never get back.

Off to sweet slumber, 

TFW