Being Like Me

As I'm figuring out how to be myself again, and how to change my personality, I find I've been drawn to a couple of blogs.  Here, meet them!

Lindsay

Nicole

Shannan

When I first realized that reading their blogs relaxed me, I thought, "I should be more like them!"  But no.  That's not the answer.  Trying to make myself like someone else is a fine idea [hear me out here] if that person is done figuring things out.  Here's a hint: no one is done figuring themselves out.  Lindsay?  I haven't asked her, but I know that she's still figuring out this whole "mama" thing.  Nicole, too.  Heck, I'll bet my gal Shan would admit to still figuring out how to be a parent, and she's got some not-so-littles.  

Those sweet gals, they're also still figuring out how to be wives, how to be friends, how to keep the dirty dishes out of their sinks.  Same as you (and I!), they're still trying to find that elusive rhythm to their days.  And I realized, that's what I was drawn to.  The stories they tell, their days, they seem to have a sweet, relaxed cadence that draws me in.  That type-A personality of mine makes me want to track these ladies down, find out exactly what they do and why, and then replicate it in my life.  I'm telling you, its a sickness.  

I've learned, though, that even if I did all of those weird, sick, semi-stalker-ish things, I wouldn't have what I'm looking for.  Their rhythm, the cadence of their days, it wouldn't fit me right.  It'd feel choppy, a little off-pitch, and a half-beat behind.  I need my own.  I need to find the beat that lets my heart settle down, that lets peace seep into the corners of our home and set all of our days to music.  

I know it starts with me & God.  Having my nose buried in my bible at least once a day.  That sort of thing, verses like this and stories like this, they make my heart sing.  Its also found when I cherish the small things.  Not every moment.  Nope.  Telling me to "cherish every moment" makes me fall off into the crazy pit where I try and catalogue every moment and then make myself cherish them one by one (again, I know, its sick.)  But to find a few things each day that make me smile, that are good and right and joyful, acknowledging those is definitely key to living the life I love.

Its also important for me to exercise.  Handsome has signed us up (with my knowledge and grudging permission) for a 10K with 20 obstacles.  I've got until September 21 to get myself in shape.  Which is mildly terrifying, but also exciting.  I am so much happier when I've sweated.  And I want to be a runner, especially since the boy I married has turned into one.  So that also needs to be a priority for me.

Want to know whats not?  Candy Crush.  I had two, honest-to-goodness conversations about how to "clear the jelly" last week.  My heart: not singing.  I don't want to be the girl who spends her time playing games on her phone, when there is so much else going on.  I'm sure there are other things, but this one really sticks out to me in this moment.  Bye bye, my crush.

That's what I'm doing lately.  I'm figuring out what it means to be a me that I like.  I'm figuring out what I'm drawn to, and what it looks like in my life.  Oh, and I'm adding natural light, fresh flowers, and the color white to my days.  Those girls have all got that going on, and I think it really might be calming, so I'm gonna try it.  Just so ya know.

<3 M.