Let's Chill

I've been a bit... off, I suppose you could say, since #RG showed up.  Heck, since she became an idea about 1 year ago, she's left me a little unbalanced.  

We've graduated from the woombie to sleeping with arms out.
She likes being free.
She's chill like that.

Pretty sure that's how this whole "becoming a parent" thing rolls.

Part of my trouble is my personality.  I like patterns.  I like predictable.  I have big expectations, and when I make all of the right moves, I expect the expected outcomes.  All of these things are a problem with la bebe. She's a wild card, one that can't be figured out since she doesn't even know herself.  This is hard on me.

Since I prefer to survive, even try to thrive, in this new environment, I've decided to change my personality.  I've already changed my love language.  I even switched from an backwards-introvert to a social-introvert in 8th grade, because I could.  Boom.

Now, its time to change my personality.  I'm big on type-A around here: rigid, time-management obsessed, multi-tasking high-achiever focused on deadlines and a bit short-fused when routine is disrupted.  Handsome, he's type-B all the way: lower stress level, steady, not given to fits of rage/excitement/sadness/anything.  Goes with the flow.  That's who I want to be.  I wanna roll wit' it.  

I'm not bent this way.  I'm not used to not being worried with schedules.  Heck, I've got an app on my phone that draws charts depending on when #RG sleeps & wakes, trying to assess patterns.  [spoiler alert: there is no pattern]  I'm not exactly sure what this looks like.  Since my baby daddy possesses several characteristics that I want to also possess, I think I'll try to do a bit what he does.  If neither of us care about schedules and routine, we'll probably fall apart entirely when it comes to showing up places; I'm not going off of the B-deep-end.  

But I am gonna chill.  

Here's to being chill.

<3 M.