Last night, around 9:30 PM, my husband looked me square in the face and seriously asked me if I wanted to go out into the cold.
Part of me wondered if he had a fever.
"Wanna come out in the snow and watch me shovel and Duke run around like a mad man?"
He meant it, I could tell. While I have no idea why he asked, and despite the reasonable part of my brain that said "Heck. No. I don't like frostbite, thankyouverymuch," I went anyways. Because as far as its in my power, however much he asks, I try and tell my husband "Yes" when he asks if I want to come with him.
It wasn't glamorous. There was no particularly blog-worthy photo to show. So I just took one, so I'd remember. I want to remember that he asked me. He asked me to be with him, to do with him. He wants me around. He wants to share things with me, even if its biting cold wind and annoying (and never-ending!) chores.
I want him to always choose me, and so I try to say "yes" as much as possible.
Its the reason I've gotten up to go "hunting" at 4:00 in the AM (Yes, they make a 4 o'clock for mornings, too! Who knew!?) and the reason I have actually sat and watched him play a video game a time or two. For as long as he wants me around, I want to be there.
This doesn't mean that I don't do my own thing, or that I watch him live his life while I sit in the stands. We do plenty apart, and there are times he comes with me for stuff, just because I've asked. It all just boils down to being each other's buddies. I don't know if its the best marriage technique. I don't know much of anything about marriage, other than what pertains to Handsome and our first 6 1/2 years. But I do know that this works for us, the tagging along.
I've had friends who say they want to do things, and so you ask or invite, and they decline. Which happens, not a big deal. Until its the 145th time, and then you're just done asking. I don't want him to ever be done asking me. It seems silly, but when I've got my head on straight and a good perspective, it almost seems like he's proposing all over again. A little far-fetched, sure, but the truth is he's choosing me, and that's pretty much all I've ever wanted. So that's why I say "yes".
Have a great weekend, friends! Say yes to someone, even if they're asking you to leave your house at 9:30 when its 27* out and you're wearing leggins. It might seem like a small thing, but these little "yes"'s, they add up into one big "you're important to me" and that is a beautiful gift.
<3 M.
You've got this down, dear one.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I love this. It reminds me of this article I read about happy marriages vs the doomed ones. And after this guy studies these relationships, he realized it boiled down to such a simple thing - the happy couples were the ones who, when their spouse gave a "bid" for their attention ( like " hey guess what I learned today" or "come watch me shovel snow") the spouse responded interested somehow. The unhappy couples and the ones who didn't list were the ones who ignored those bids or got annoyed their spouse even asked. Very simple, but aren't the best things in life that way?
ReplyDeleteWell look at me being all fancy and knowing what the studies show without knowing the studies :) That's really cool to know that I'm not setting myself up for some big mistake somewhere!
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