Risking Rejection with Community

Rejection is alive and well, in case you're wondering, in case you have been mighty successful lately.  For example, just last week, I got a rejection email - modern technology now allows people to reject you without the cost of a stamp!  Now, granted, it was for a job that I applied for 8+ months ago (Really, university-that-shall-remain-nameless, you've found someone else?  I'm shocked.  Color me speechless. I thought you were just nervous to contact me since my resume, which you read 8 months ago, impressed you that much... #sarcasmfont) and I already have a job that I'm excited about, but all the same... rejected.

And then there's that pesky crowdfunding thing.  We (you!) did help out, and share the cause and raise some money, but in truth, it was far below the goal amount, and it felt like a failure.  Which I said, when I emailed Nicole about the whole thing.  She had no idea that we had been doing it.  I felt a little weird, like I was saying "Hey, I tried to do this thing and it didn't really work out but its a thing that happened and your name is attached and so..." but she was so gracious, so touched that you kind strangers would care and do and all that business.  Turns out, she was the recent recipient of a laptop from another source, and so she wasn't going to plant our $70 in the backyard in the hopes that it would grow into an amount that might someday buy a computer.  However, she was still unable to get back to blogging/selling because she had been having some problems with her website, had a professional fix it, and was waiting on the room in the budget to pay said professional.  Guess what?  Even after GoFundMe's fees & Paypal's fees are taken out, there's still enough in the pot to cover those expenses.  AWESOME.  That's what that is.  So while I thought I might face rejection, that she might be like "Oh, well... that sure was nice of you to try to raise some $$ for a computer, even though it sort of failed miserably...*coughlosercough*" she wasn't and we were all able to be a part of helping fill a need!  Woohoo!

On a personal note, we recently told our southern friends about the fact that we are shortly moving 700 miles away (I know guys, it hurts to read, but we have to deal with the facts).  I'll tell you what, I was scared.  I didn't want to tell them that we were leaving, because I knew there was a good chance that they would shut us out.  Not because they're terrible friends; they're not.  But out of a sort of self-preservation, and a bit of a nod to ROI - "why continue to invest time if you're leaving?" is what I was afraid they would think.  And then I'd be without any friends for the next 3 months.  They didn't, though.  No one shut us out, no one said "Nice to have known you, I'm going to go find a friend who will be here in the fall..." Of course, no one is admitting that they're actually going to let us leave, but we'll deal with that when we have to.  So thankful that that risk didn't blow up in our faces.

So those are my riskes (risk-ez) of late.  No major failings, which is nice.  I've also gained a greater sense of community, something I never would have gotten if I hadn't put myself out there and taken a risk.  Have you risked lately?  Do tell!  Its so much more fun to risk with friends!  Just ask Amy!

<3 M.

Risky Business III :: My Man Amos

This is the end.  Of January, you know.  It's also the end of the month during which Amy L. Sullivan 1 (It's a nickname, that I like to call her sometimes.  It's also her website.  amylsullivan1.com.  She's a super gal.) challenged us to risk getting rejected.

And we did.  In so many ways.  Large ways, small ways, they all opened us up to rejection.  And that was the real point.  To willingly do something that might end with each of us getting rejected.  In order to do big things.  And to get rejected.  So that we could find out that rejection is not the end-all, the worst thing ever.

It is likely cheesy, but I often think about Thomas Edison, and how he failed so. many. times. when working on the lightbulb.  And the telegraph.  and the other 1,409 (I made up that number, but it's actually 1,093 which makes my number not that much of an exaggeration) things that he invented.  Which makes him sound wildly successful.  But no.  I mean, yes, but only after he failed and failed and failed again.  And when asked about it, he gave a famous quote "I haven't failed.  I've only found 10,000 ways that don't work."  Or another one that I recently found is "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."  

This man, he knew about failure.  About rejection.  About trying and giving his everything and it not being enough.  And yet he didn't give up, he kept putting himself out there.  And thus (which is how my phone often corrects the word "this", which is annoying, but in this case I mean it) I plan to keep putting myself out there, to keep risking rejection.  To keep trying something even if I don't know will work. 

So for my final risk, I went big.  Because going big is the only option if you decide not to stay home.

I sponsored.   

EEK!

You can do it too!
Here's a link.
It's $38/month.
Less than $10/week.
Think about it, at least.

There's a couple of bloggers that I follow, and they've been in Uganda with Compassion International for the past few days.  And oh, my!  The stories.  The faces.  I've been following along every time bloggers went with Compassion.  I've wanted to do this for a long time, but I've been scared.  Scared I'd let some kid down.  But I've been watching our budget, thanks to Mint.com, and I see we've lately had the room.  And I am feeling risky.  So I went ahead and pulled the plug and did it.

His name is Amos.

He's 3.

Just.  

His birthday is December 30, and he's got the chubbiest second chubbiest cheeks I've ever seen.  I'd show you a picture, but I forgot my Compassion user name already.  But not Amos's.  I'm not forgetting his name.  I've already written him a letter, which I'm assuming his parents will read to him.  Because he's 3.  And he won't be 4 until next December 30, on which date I'm planning on sending him a birthday card.  I'm a little excited, in case you can't tell.

It feels big.  And like it could fall apart on me.  I still have to tell Handsome.  Whoops!  It's not a huge deal, because it's my spending budget and I'll do what I want.  Plus, he's a big softie, and once he sees those cheeks, he's a goner.  I'm not keeping it a secret, it's just he's working and we have pretty much the worst communication of any successfully married couple, so I'll tell him when he's home in a day or two.  Perhaps I'll spin it that Riley finally got that older brother (of sorts) that Handsome always wished she had.

<Note: I wrote this last night, but told Handsome when he came home this morning.  At first, he confused it with Kiva, which I also love.  Then he made snide comments about them stealing our money and only feeding the children when bloggers come to town.  When he says awful things, that's how I know he thinks its a fine idea, and that he agrees.  Like when I ask him if he's happy being married and he sighs and says "Not like I really have any choice now..." and I know we're good.  Its a complicated language, the one that he speaks.  But anyhow, I asssured him that Compassion is completely legit, that they do fabulous work, and that we can make a serious difference for Amos.  So no more secrets, in case you were worried.  Except where I hide the cookies.  That, I'm never telling him.>

I've leaped (leapt?) already.  And Amos is ours.  And it is my plan that he stays that way for ever and ever.

I'm going big.

<3 M.

Risky Business, Take 2

I opened a shop.

Online.

Selling stuff I make.

*faint*

*revive*

Because I love to make things.  And if I can make things and get paid for it (at least enough to cover the materials, a little for my time is a nice bonus) then all the better.  I've done this before, but then I quit.  Because Grad School.  Because Pregnant.  And because Follow Through.

But now I've done it again.  The stakes are a little higher this time, because the material is a bit more pricey.  I mean, I'm purchasing cow hide in bulk - not cheap.  SO ridiculously fun, and something I never saw myself doing, but more expensive than thrift store fabric.  A bit.

I had gotten some feedback from instagram and the like regarding my prototype, and it was all positive.  A few people even said "I want that!  I'd pay you to make me one."  But... I've had the shop open for 2 days and there's been no paying.  Few views, actually.  And while "since Wednesday" is not real long, it feels long when you're putting yourself out there.  And it feels like you've already failed when no on is biting.

How did I see this going in my dreams?  Well, I open up the shop, I add my products, complete with witty description, carefully edited photographs, and lots of angst, and BOOM!  Both purses are bought up, and then there's orders for 4 more.  And Oprah wants one.  That's pretty much how I saw it going.

And yes, that was ridiculously optimistic, but I'm a romantic - I imagine all outcomes will occur in the most fabulous way imaginable.  And its not.  But.  BUT.  I'm not done.  Because January is the month of riskiness, and this definitely qualifies.  I think, because myself and a whole bunch of blogger friends (they are friends, now, by this point in the journey) have been so decidedly open to risking things, and because we're willing to be rejected if that's what it takes, it wasn't such a hard choice to make, the decision to try-to-sell-my-precious-handiwork-online.  

I'm not going to lie, there's a part of me that wants to say "Ok, I tried, time to pack it up."  Because a  little rejection (I know, its only been two days, but SERIOUSLY!) stings and, were I more afraid of rejection than I am, I would do that; had I less support than I do, I would do that.  It would be easier.  I could brush it off and act like it ain't no thang - I didn't really want the hassle of an online shoppe anyhow...  But I do.  I think it will be fun.  I think I make a pretty bomb-phenom leather satchel.  I think I have more creativity in me, and there is more leathercrafting to be done.  

So I won't quit.  I'll keep risking.  I'll keep trying things and putting them out there.

But do this for me, okay?  First, don't make a pity-purchase.  C'mon.  I can handle this.  Second, if I make truly awful stuff, if it is nowhere near as chic and stylish as I think it is, if my mom is lying to me when she says "You could make it big, honey," then PLEASE, for the love of all the cows, tell me, okay?  Its not very friendly to tell someone who sounds like a sick cat that they have a beautiful voice - don't over-inflate my ego, just for kicks.  In this house, we praise actual accomplishments and there are no participation trophies.  hastag: that's how we roll.

<3  M.

Follow Through :: #RiskRejection

You know, I just realized that our little hashtag up there could be misconstrued to mean "Reject Risks!"

Sooo not it at all.

No, my dear one.  Some friends & I are linking up to share the ways that we risk getting rejected in the month of January.  Reject risktaking?  Heck no.  This is about embracing risks, about being open to rejection, so as not to be limited by the fear of it.

Last week, I told you my main risky business for the month.  Submitting papers, doing as God prompts, and attempting to crowdfund a new laptop for Nicole.  Well, I'm still doing those.  My risks, they're on-going.  The papers, they have a finish line, but its a ways off.  I've been making some progress, and now I have to prepare a multi-commodity data set for optimization analysis.  In case you wanted to know.  They're still a ways off from being outright rejected, but don't worry, I'll share every last rejection letter on here.  I've also taken the opportunity to re-email a friend of mine who had responded with... well, nothing, no response.  This time I got a somewhat response, so that's something!

And Nicole's laptop fund?  Well, after I wrote about it last week, y'all were so kind as to check it out, and some of you gave $$ towards it, which is way kind.  Seriously, I appreciate it so much!  But I'm realizing that I'm not likely to get this done on my own.  So I'm stepping out here, and I'm asking you to share.  I've made a button (I think...)

<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.gofundme.com/61o6nw" title="Crowdfunding a Laptop For Nicole" target="_blank"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEzKNgLzz3FhD7PiRcCGnvCRL54Hy_AphaeM-tgBFNPx1Vx1X_SWjscUN7zDkRKNlmviefdBaIaaj0zhMdtCf_QhulB-jYzfA8qirCPpnTK_xUZu6rhAlp0SIh2uAB-zH6pumn-HNWupN9/s1600/DSC01895.jpg" alt="Crowdfunding a Laptop For Nicole" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

That you can throw on your blogs, if you have 'em.  Or you can share directly from the crowdfunding site and share on twitter, facebook, pinterest, etc.  Lots of options.  Share, share, share, people!

I'm going to be honest.  Part of me wants to say "Oh, whelp, I tried.  Too bad it didn't work out." and then quit.  Because my follow-through isn't the greatest. I know this about myself, although I don't really like it.  I'm working on it. But I've found, similarly to how the only way to grow patience is to have your patience tested, the only way to become better at follow-through is to give yourself opportunities to follow through.

Which means comittment.

Which is risky.

Because what if I fail, like I've failed so many times before?  What if I cause more damage by promising and then not showing up, than I would have if I would have sat back and let someone else do it?

But what if I don't do it?  What if I don't act?  Well, I'll be bored.  And I'll miss about a gazillion opportunities to do awesome things.  And I won't have mattered much.  Because while you need a flash-in-the-pan person every now and again, what people really need are people who stay.  Who perseveres with them.  Who are dependable and who show up, time and time again.  

I want to be a person like that, but its risky.  If I screw up in an important situation, I'm likely not ever going to be allowed back within the "circle of trust", you know what I'm sayin'?

Too bad. 

I'm risking it.

First, I refuse to let this crowdfunding thing die.  If you can/did give, that's fantastic.  Seriously.  I'm a fan-o-yours.  But even if you didn't, could you please share?  Tweet, facebook, pin, whatever works for you.  The more people who see it, the  more likely we are to actually reach that goal!  And keep those sweet comments coming on the page, I'm going to include them for Nicole when we actually fund this thing!

Second, I partnered up with a teacher friend of mine to provide snacks for her 4th graders.  Some of them don't have snacks to eat at snacktime.  A lot of those same kids didn't have breakfast and likely won't have dinner.  Hungry 9 year-olds doesn't sit well with me.  And although I knew there was a chance I could do it once and stop, I don't want to.  Its been about 6 weeks now that I've gotten granola bars and fruit ready for those kids.  I'm loving it!  I know I'm doing something tangible to love on them.  Hopefully, with their full bellies, they're being a bit more 'have for my teacher friend, as well!  I'm going to do this until the end of the school year.  I am.  And the kids, well, they ask about more when the supply runs low, so I know they're counting on me.  

Third, I've made some new friends lately.  Which sounds all butterflies and sunshine, but its also scary-making.  New friends means new demands on time and more people not to let down.  (And, dear new friends, if you're reading this, I'm glad to have to deal with the "problem" that is your friendship!)  But all the same, its easier to not have anyone counting on you.  Too bad.  I'm risking the fact that they might not like me as much as they thought they would, or that they might expect me to make time for them (as any good friend should, I know).  I'm risking the fact that I might blow it and get hurt.  Because its worth it.

So those are my risks for this week.  That's where I'm putting myself out there.  What risky business have you gotten yourself into?  Are you awesome at follow-through?  Teach me your ways!

<3 M.

p.s.- I don't know what happened with the font midway through.

Please ignore it :)