Forgetting

Today, I will be remembering, along with most of America, where I was 11 years ago.

I will also be forgetting.

I will forget with everything in me, as hard and strongly as I can.  I will forget that days like 9/11/01 happen.  I will forget that it could happen again.  

I must forget.  Because if I remember, if I dwell, I will lose it.  If I focus on the fact that, were another day like that day to come, were it to happen again, my Love would be involved.  The one who promised me forever might meet his "ever".  That slays me.

So remember, if you can.  Forget, if you must.  But feel, whatever you do.

Crying jags are my thing,
TFW

Embrace The Quiet

I know I've told you all about my travels.  They were many and long and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.  And then they were over, and I dreamed of peace.  Then the friends came.  Dang friends.  It's hard, you know?  Having friends sometimes?  Ones that you actually like to hang out with and are willing to come visit you.  They make for great memories, as well as noisy houses.

And then the in-laws.  The in-laws, they came.  And they loved on us.  And they visited and bought me steak for dinner.  And they hung out with us and smooched our puppy and loved on our baby who isn't even here yet.  They were lovely and I was so glad they were here.  

And then they went home.  And for a day, it was Handsome & myself.  And then it was more friends and fun times.  Really, it's hard being the object of so much love and attention.  

Maybe it's warped, but there is a part of me,  amid all of these fun times and memory making, that longs for quiet.  For no plans.  For (and this is weird, but bear with me) loneliness.  I haven't figured out yet if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.  I know, I know, there's a personality test out there that will tell me.  But maybe I just don't want to know myself that well.  Maybe I'm too indecisive to answer the questions.  Maybe those little pieces of my neurosis right there prove all I need to know.

I hate when bloggers apologize for terrible lighting and bad photos.
But now, with this one, I understand why they do.
Not that I'm apologizing.

The Sound that Made The Camel Cry

I called a friend tonight.

I told her "I'm having a disproportionate reaction to an event."

Because I was.

And because that's how I talk.

Apparently, it takes some degree of effort for me to sound more like a normal person and less like someone who has multiple math degrees.  And at the time I placed that phone call, I didn't have any extra effort in me to give.

The "event" that I was having a disproportionate reaction to was my smoke alarms going off.  Every single one of them, at the same time.  I wasn't cooking, or baking, and nothing was burning.  At least, I was pretty sure that nothing in the house was on fire.  So that's weird.  And annoying.  And I didn't know how to make it stop.  My "disproprotionate reaction" as that I just wanted to sit down on my front stoop and sob.  We're talking the ugly cry, here people.  That's all I wanted to do.

Handsome is currently in a burn building conducting training, so I was left to rely upon the kindness of strangers and my own ingenuity.  It's sort of impressive, really, that it has taken nearly 3 years for this to happen; me to need him and him be unreachable due to the fire/medic service.  This was the first time, as long as we're not counting the time he left me at the grocery store.  Let's not count that.  

I didn't really take time to change into "going out in public" clothes.
I wore these snazzy platform Teva's, a tank top, and pajama shorts.
For some reason, it made sense to me to leave my house to go to the grocery store,
but I couldn't take time to change, in case it really was on fire.
Like I said, I had no extra effort left.

I loaded Duke up in the Jeep, so that in case the house really was on fire, I wouldn't have a char-broiled pup on my hands, and went to the grocery store.  A mere $18 later, I had 4 new batteries all in place.

It still happened again.  So now I'm playing the process of elimination where we methodically unhook each detector from the electric, and see what happens.  And I'm not baking.  Just in case.

So begins another adventure as the wife of a firefighter.  Paramedic school also starts tomorrow (likely the cause of my disproportionate reaction), and so I'm also entering a new phase in life.  I like to call it "The Wedded Bachelorette".  I hear that a person can survive most anything, if they have a finish line.  So here's to the next 11 months.  May they be as painless as possible.  And may I still be able to recognize my husband at the end of it.

Oh, and may my house not burn down.  Amen.

Glamorous as always,

TFW

A Few Things You Should Know

Hello darlings.  I hope May is treating you well.  You know, all 8 hours of it.  May can be tricky.  You think she's summer but she's still spring, it seems like shorts should be appropriate but jeans are suggested... Let me tell you, the water is still cold, so don't go jumping head-first unless you're hoping for a shock.

We'll call this little piece of information Data Point Zero.  Wanted to let you lovelies know that I'm currently giving away a purse on Malisa's blog.  She said she'd be okay with you hopping over there and checking it out.  Just sayin', its free, and its cute!  Check it out!

You know you want this.

I have a few things to tell you.  Numero Uno, I feel like I should tell you that I don't speak Spanish.  Not really.  I can say "Come here" quite clearly.  I can mumble my way through "Where is the bathroom" and "How much does it cost", and I've had no opportunity to use those two phrases strung together.  I can count up to about 30-ish, but then I slip into French.  I point at pictures at Mexican restaurants, and usually just go with "Chimichanga".  Trust me, you can't go wrong with a chimichanga - hold the beans, extra queso.

Now that we've got that out of the way, another item on my list of "things you should now know" is that we're now accepting sponsors for TFW.  Its pretty exciting, and could be intimidating if not for the fantabulous Passion Fruit Ads, who hooked this sister up.  Let me tell you, Passion Fruit Ads is the place to go for adding advertising to your blog.  

Spots are currently open, if you're interested in advertising your small business, etsy shop, or blog.  The information is available at this special page.  Check it out if you're interested, I do sponsored ads and free friend swaps!

Check it out here!

Forget The Box of Chocolates

Prepare yourself.  I've got me some right powerful feelings tonight.  

Might be best to just move on, come back when I'm feeling more balanced.  

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Good 'ole Forrest.  "Life is a box of chocolates" and all that.  Ticks me off.  Not the movie, although I do have to say that I don't love Forrest Gump.  Really, the shrimp part is my favorite.  But no, the whole "You never know what you're going to get" line.  That irritates me tonight.  

Tonight, I just want to smack him.
I realize he (the character) is basically mentally disabled and that makes me a terrible person.
I wouldn't actually smack him, if that makes it any better.
I doubt that it does, though.

First off, it doesn't help that I gave up sweets for Lent.  Yes, I know I said I was giving up "seconds" but I also said that I knew what I meant, and then I discovered that the line was quite blurry, and I had no idea what I meant.  So then I thought I needed something with hard and fast rules.  And then I thought I was being legalistic, which isn't cool anymore, since the whole grace thing entered the picture.  But then I consoled myself with the fact that Lent is about where we were before Christ, which is stuck in legalism, or "rule-following", and so perhaps it was fitting.

Whew.  April 8th, I'm eating sweets morning, noon, and night.  And then I'm buying 1/2 off candy for the next week.  Or two.  Just in case you wondered about my plans.

Anyhow, that's the first reason why I hate the "chocolates" line.  The second is that I hate not knowing what I'm going to get.  Skeeves me right out.  I like predictability, dependability, schedules.  This Fire Life that this here FireWife is living, it has no schedule.  Nothing is set, nothing is dependable, except that anything can always happen.