On This Morning

On this morning, it's still dark.  It seemed dark as night just 40 minutes ago when I accidentally woke up.  I had to good fortune of sleeping the night through... wait, no, now that I remember it, I did wake up once.  Either way, I slept pretty soundly (really wish I wouldn't have remembered that, I liked the slept-the-night-through version better).  I then realized I had had the even better fortune of waking up about 10 minutes after Husband's alarm should have gone off.  Then it's hurry-scurry to get him out the door on time.

On this morning, I wanted to lock the door, instead.  Pull down the blinds (because we've finally got some in the bathrooms!), and stay in here today.  Claim a contentious objector day, and simply not participate in the goings ons around us.

On this morning, I wanted to turn towards my love, snuggle up, and slip back off to dream land for at least a good 4 more hours.  Then it would have been pancakes.  I've been dreaming about pancakes for about 4 days now.  Not my "healthy" pancakes.  Not my usual flapjacks.  Big, fluffy, syrup-stealing, stick to your ribs pancakes.  And some bacon, if I had some.

On this morning, I wish I had bacon.

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I Miss Christmas

I do.  I miss my Christmas Tree.  I miss it's smell... I miss it's musk...

But seriously, I miss sitting in my living room, looking at the tree.  I miss the preparation of presents and trips, vacation time and celebration.  I miss Christmas cookies.  I miss thinking about the nativity story all the time.  I miss my stockings and ornaments.  I miss the ridiculously rich hot chocolate I drank at the time.

I know I should look to the future, the present, with anticipation and wonder, instead of dwelling in the past.  I know that there are treasures and memories, scents and treats and excitement and celebration, all waiting here in this moment if I choose to find it.

But it's not Christmas.

North Pole or Bust,

TFW