What I Learned in February

1.  That RSV is medical code for "common cold" and is used so that, when Mamas of 1-month-olds are freaking out over shallow breathing and raspy sounds, there is a medical-sounding explanation.  It seems much more credible to say "Oh, ma'am, your baby has RSV" instead of "Its a cold."  The treatment is the same, and the little boy is recovering quite well.

p.s. - I had a baby boy.
January 23.
I feel like I forgot to share that...

2.  That I can survive on very few hours of sleep.  I forget this, between babies.  I forget that I actually can function with (3) 1-hour-stretches.  I also learned that I don't like it.

3.  That my husband is my absolute favorite human.  The kind of person who, despite him also not having much sleep, takes time to make sure our daughter feels loved, that she feels "pechial!" each day.  The kind of person who shovels the driveway three times in one day, who is kind to his crazy, sleep-deprived wife, and who has the most impressive biceps ever. <3

Helping Dada make his post-workout shake.
She's got special jobs, all that he taught her, and she takes them very seriously.
Especially the blending.
The blending is key.

4. That this girl of mine is growing fast.  SO fast.  And that she's a mini parrot now, and correctly (and emphatically) states "Oh my gaaaaaawsh!"  And that she knows my name is "Myiah".

5.  That I need to mind my tongue now, more than ever.  See above.

6.  That I can (and will) eat as many Cadbury Milk Chocolate Eggs as are available to me, even to frightening proportions.  There's a giant bag for sale at Wegman's.  I want it, I do.

7.  Galatians, y'all.  Galations (esp. The Message) is my jam.

Free.
Yes.

8.  That two year olds don't know when its their birthday, and that is best used to an exhausted Mama's advantage.  We celebrated a little bit every day, particularly when PACKAGES (similar to Golum's "Precious!") would arrive.  Eventually there will be a year when we have to up our game, but it was not this year.  Her birthday cake?  A handful of Nilla wafers with jam.  hashtag: thats how we roll

9.  Mama needs a new camera.  iPhone photos aren't cutting it.  Again, see above.

What'd you learn, friends?  Share with me, I'm stuck in the frigid cold with two babies.

<3 M.

What I learned in November

1.  I have a "very big [baby] belly".  That's apparently the medical term for it, as this judgement came from my OB after our talk about delivery options and projected baby size.  Its not big deal (ha! punny!), I'm just measuring 3 weeks ahead despite a solid expected due date.  Giant baby, here you come, 8 weeks and counting!

2.  I like having curtains.  I forgot this.  I do know about myself that I'm very much a "function over form" type of gal.  Above all else, it has to be practical.  And so when we moved it and there were already blinds, I didn't feel any necessity in also hanging curtains.  When I realized that the blinds weren't actually functional, and finally sprung for some drapes from TJMaxx's, I realized that adding homey touches in fact makes a place feel more like a home.  Who knew?!?  Of course, I didn't go so far as to be particular about my curtains or iron them before hanging (sorry Cori!!), but all the same, they make it feel so much more cozy in our house, I might even put some on the other windows!

3.  Its nice to have your mattress up off the floor.  See above, but substitute the words "bed frame" for "curtains".  Sometimes it can feel downright indulgent not to live like a broke college student.

4.  Thanksgiving is more difficult to plan when you have pregnancy brain and a toddler.  I did it, and I enjoyed it, but I wasn't able to totally throw myself into the planning and anticipation of it like I usually do.  Yes, there was this list, but then I forgot about it all for about 2 1/2 weeks.  Luckily, the food did not suffer.  All of the items that were supposed to go in the refrigerator and were accidentally placed in the pantry were caught before spoilage could occur...

5.  My daughter is a tried-and-true, to-the-bone, extrovert.  I do not understand this.  I marvel at it, really.  But she is, just like her daddy.  She draws energy from being around people, even strangers, and although she *can* play independently, she'd rather do it in the same place that you are, whoever you are.  Really, I do mean you.  Whoever you are reading this, she'd rather play near you than by herself.  I'm filing this one away under "Future issues with identifying 'strangers'".

6.  Shoveling snow while 7 mo. pregnant is ill-advised.  Dear lower back - I said I was sorry.

7.  I am not a black-Friday shopper.  I'm not a shopper under the best of circumstances, but I'm most definitely not a shopper at wee hours of the morning, and I have no patience for the inefficiency of waiting in line for 52 minutes (hypothetically) to get 30% off.  However, I do enjoy making friends when bound by the ties of shared misery and uncomfortable shoes. (Good luck hunting today, Mike!)

8.  Varied crafting keeps my mind more occupied.  Although I did get the chance to sew a lot of purse orders this month, I also took the opportunity to knock out a quilt or two, and even made a garland for Thanksgiving!  Its not gorgeous, and it likely won't stand the test of time, and I definitely did not get a good picture of it.  But once again, it made the place feel more homey, and apparently I like that.

9.  I have no willpower when it comes to pop.  If its in my fridge, its in my belly, end of story.

10. There should be IS (!!!!) some Christmas version of this candy.  I'll ask for nothing ever again.

<3 M.

Inspiration for Making :: A List

Oh my.  You all.  Y'all.  I've got some ideas.  Coming out my ears in fact.  So many that I'm finding it hard to keep everything straight, and so if you will indulge me, I'm going to list them here.  Handsome has gently asked me to "stop. buying. flipping. fabric." and so I'm trying, I really am, to use what I've got currently, before indulging my fabric buying addiction any further.  Also, rather than spending $$ on a design wall, which serious makers apparently have, to see all of their ideas laid out, I'm basically making a virtual one.  So now you know what you're in for.

And so here we go!

As much as I keep ignoring the fact, there is a new baby coming our way in less than 3 months.
This new baby, s/he is going to be born into the cold, cold PA winter.
That means we will need warmth, which to me screams flannel.
I love flannel.
And these lovely Cloud9 and Birch Organic Flannels, well, they meet the bill perfectly.
Deadline: January 2015
(middle image via)

We've got ourselves a couch now, and its lovely.
Everything I dreamed it could be.
Perfect for sitting, snuggling, resting... I could go on.
But we've got no pillows, and we've got next-to-no throws that are larger than crib-sized.
Which is fine for crib sitting, but not great for couch snuggling.
These Hopewell Workshop pieces are lovely, and reminiscent of a design I've had flitting around in my head for eons.
Kona solids and Essex yarn-dyed Linens will do me just right, I think.
I can't wait to try out some fancy designs on the small canvas pillows provide!

This one, this is a gift.
See, I fell for V & Co.'s ombre fabrics when they first came out.
And so, like any good sewist, I bought them by the yard and promptly hoarded them.
I've got some long-range plans for the majority of the colors, but the purple & orange, well...
They're Clemson colors, no two ways about it.
And I know a little girl who will not appreciate this but she needs more Clemson in her life.
So I've got plans to flesh out another idea I've had ever since making my first ruffle quilt.
A friend & I are planning to splurge on babysitters and spend a day with ruffles.
Hopefully there will be 2 quilts at the end of the day.
Maybe even a tutorial, if you're lucky!

More Kona solids and Essex Linen, yes.
Which may seem uninspired.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, and I can't help it if these combos speak to me so loudly.
I'm planning on using Fresh Lemon Quilt's book, purchased last winter, to make a sampler.
Except not just any sampler.
I want to make the squares in all different scales, and arrange it similar to the star quilt on the right.
I've never made a sampler before, so that will be a new experience.
I've also never followed patterns, nor planned everything so carefully as this will require.
New skills in the new year, I'm so very excited!
This will be a queen-sized quilt for our bed.
We haven't had a new one in, oh, 4 years or so, so this will be a real treat!

There are a few other ideas I have floating around.  Ideas such as Old-fashioned Chenille Quilt (perhaps with a pieced top this time...!) and Christmas Stockings for Riley & myself (handsome already has his!), a large floor pillow for my sweet girl in Sesame Street fabric (she's crazy about them, despite never seeing the show), and a t-shirt quilt for my darling girl backed in some vintage Sesame Street sheeting (there's a theme, are you seeing it?).  I've recently made the little punkin a quiet book, which I can't wait to share with you once I get some pictures of it.  Finally, I'm in the process of making a custom-ordered leather duffle, and I can't wait to see how it turns out!  Items like that, where I have to do the designing and the sewing, there's always a bit of breath-holding until the finished product is in hand.  

And that's it.  Those are my projects.  Apparently there is life after grad school, where you have time for things like "hobbies" and "rest" and "not doing homework".  This life I'm getting the opportunity to live, its downright glorious, I tell ya.  I'm going to try my darndest to keep to this list, but I do have a few other things I need to make by Christmas time, so we'll see.  Ask me not for a promise, and I'll tell you no lie.

Are you making anything?  Please share it with me, I love to know what you're up to!  And also, lest you think I "do it all" I'd like to you to know that cleaning the house is the thing that gives when something's got to.  I just ignore it.  So "all" is not done.  In case you wondered ;)

<3 M.

Friday Listing

I hope you all are doing well out in your corners of the world.  Me, I'm listing.  Literally, figuratively, metaphorically (is that the same as figuratively?), all of the listing.  I'm beat today, even though I went to bed pretty close to 9:30 last night.  It defies explanation.  I even took off Duke-a-loop's collar so that I wouldn't hate him so much in the middle of the night (scratching=jangling=wide awake Mariah=hateful feelings=rehoming...).

But anyhow, I've made it through my 8 AM class, and still, still, no one has fallen asleep.  There were some audible yawns today, which leads me to believe that perhaps this first Friday in September is a little hard for everyone.  Maybe you watched too much football last night (thank the Good Lord it is back!), or maybe you tried to rush through grading before your hot coffalatte, only to be late for class with no caffiene.  Maybe you don't know how to spell caffeine.  Whatever the reason, I thought it best to go easy on you today, and make a list of things you might enjoy :)

1.  This waffle recipe.  You have time.  This evening, go to the store and get what you need.  Tonight, mix together the oats and buttermilk.  Tomorrow, inhale delicious waffles, the likes of which you've never tasted before.  The good news is that you can taste them again, when you make them on Sunday.  And Monday.  And Tuesday... or do yourself a favor, just start with a double batch, and flash freeze what you don't eat.  Then?  On school mornings?  Freezer waffles that don't have the texture of Styrofoam.  You're welcome.

2.  This lunch recipe.  You don't have time, and that's okay, because this is seriously stupid easy.  I like to throw a goodly amount of Parmesan on there, so that there's more protein.  Maybe a salad if I'm feeling guilty about eating a meal comprised entirely of potatoes and cheese.  Maybe shredded chicken if I'm extra hungry or about to need energy.  Do what you want, just don't use Aldi's pesto - its not good.  Trust me on this.

3.  A book is coming.  It's written by this girl.  About living generously and teaching your kids to do the same.  Seriously, the idea of raising an entitled child gives me night sweats.  Riley already has so much more than I did as a kid, I'm nearly consumed with the concern that she's going to be, well, a brat.  Who thinks she deserves everything because she breathes.  I don't want that.  Stay tuned for more about this, I have the privilege of being part of the launch team, so you'll know more as we go!  If you've got a minute, check out their super high-tech video about the book.  Its made with torn paper and markers.  Just keep your cursor on the video, or else it'll fade out.

4.  This sweater from Anthropologie.  I've been trying to add some warmer elements to my wardrobe, now that we're going to actually experience a fall and winter season.  And this one, well, swoon.  So pretty!  Its on its way to my house, and I can wait to try it out!

From Pen & Paint's Instagram Feed

5. Watercolors.  All of the watercolors.  I can't actually paint well with them, but I'm so drawn to the pictures of others doing so.  I am not sure what it is, I think I may be trying to put a quilt together in my mind that takes inspiration from there.  But either way, I love people painting with watercolors. I'd watch you do it, unless thats weird...

Stolen from Printed Palette's Instagram Feed

6.  Ethically sourced and American made children's clothes.  Like Wildly Co.  and The Printed Palette.  I just love these styles, and am so so SO super pumped that Wildly Co. reached their kickstarter stretch goal, so that now I can get an entire girls wardrobe come January!!  WOOT!

Peace out my lovlies, I have to find a meeting room, and I've forgotten to grab a hot coffalatte beforehand.   Again.  I might not make it through this day, but at least I've given you a parting gift. These links, and all my love.

<3 M.

Latest Update

We've got a backlog of things to talk about, so pardon me while I brain-dump :)

0. New Giveaway going on at Maggie Whitley's blog.  I have the cool opportunity to be a part of the fall gift giveaway!  You should check it out, you might just win yourself a shoulder bag!

1. The Fabric Survey Giveaway.  First, thank you all soooo much for participating!  It was the best response I've had yet, and I'm blown away.  Y'all are great.  Second, Katie from blog comments and Anna from facebook are both winners, and have been contacted!  The winning fabric line is Indelible in Grey, and orders have been placed.  We're about to move into production mode, so keep an eye out for shop announcements!

2.  The South.  I miss it, loves.  Bad.  It calls to me, and its siren song sounds like sweet tea tastes.  Which I wouldn't know about anymore, since up here in the cold north, its called "Iced Tea" with "sugar available".  Its different.  Everything is different, and adjusting is straight up hard.  I don't remember missing northern culture when I moved south, except for the grilled chicken salad.  I took to the south like a pig to mud and all of those similies, and this whole changing back thing is not going near as smoothly.  Turns out I'm actually a southerner living in a northern climate.  *cue tears*

3.  Our new locale.  Its really not as bad as #2 makes it seem.  There's no snow yet, and its nearly September, so I'm calling it a win so far.  People are actually friendly, there is country music, and there are sunsets, despite what the nay-sayers who tried to keep us in the south tried to say.  Also - Lake Erie, its a Great Lake (see what I did there??).  I never really appreciated it before, but heading to the "beach" and just wading in the water calms my heart.  Until I remember the sweet tea thing again, but whatever.

4.  A church.  You guys.  Finding a church has been one of the hardest things about moving for us in the past, and I think we've already locked one in.  It helps that I'm semi-local, in that I can ask my parent's pastor for recommendations.  We're already looking into joining a small group, because hello! We need friends!

5.  Childcare.  Now taking the top place on the list of "things that are hard about moving".  This has been a bear to figure out. We've got RG in a spot at a cute daycare near our house, except her spot expires in November as someone already has it reserved from then on (???).  And the semester isn't over until December, so...  Also, because I only teach M/W/F this semester (more on that), I thought "I'll only get MWF daycare!  Score!" And I did.  And then I heard "Lets have our mandatory meeting on Thursdays..." about 3 times, and so now I'm in a possible bind for Thursdays.  The saga continues.

6.  My job.  Y'all.  I'm so excited.  I've taught exactly 1 class, and I'm in love with it.  So so so pumped to get to be a college professor (although technically its called a lecturer position, but they're not sure what to call me because I also have a PhD so...), its pretty much everything I hoped it would be.  I've been given office supplies like its christmas, and I have students and syllabi and books that I chose... I'm so pumped.  Plus, I get to make schedules for what we're doing on what days, and I LOVE SCHEDULES.  Be still my heart, I might have been made for this.  I was also made for eating gushers and sewing ruffles, so take that as you will.

7.  Babydaddy.  That guy I married, he's solid gold.  He's been daddy daycare while we figure out our childcare situation, and he has been completely awesome about it.  It has been so sweet to see more of a relationship grow between him & RG, since in the past he's worked 3 24-hour shifts out of every 6 days.  Now she goes to him and lets him kiss her boo-boo's, they even have little routines.  Its slightly jealousy-inducing for me, because I'm used to being the one taking care of our girl, and I miss her like WHOA while I'm sitting in my office.  But I'm going to focus on the positive, and I love the way they're loving each other.  Nothing sweeter!

8.  The weather.  No, really.  Is it cooler than usual where you are?  It is here, and I'm digging it.  I love summer, I do, but with the timing of the move and everything, I feel like a light sweater is appropriate.  I'm a jeans girl, though, and love love love a well-fitting pair more than any other piece of clothing (remember the rockstar jeans?).  And also - soup is my love language.  Last week was cheeseburger potato soup, this week I'm thinking either chili or chicken noodle.  Whats your favorite?

Whew.  Okay.  I feel lighter now.  I hope you're doing well, transitioning to fall and school and whatnot.  I'm planning to be back here more, so watch out!  And seriously, soup suggestions, hit me with 'em!

<3 M.

For When The Post Just Sits

Hey.

Don't get excited.  This isn't a real post.  I'm not here to tell you about a fancy new recipe where I grew my own chickens, or what to do with leftover bread when its only kinda sorta moldy (penicillin is my only guess).    I'm not going to tell you how to love the days with your littles (getting to bedtime is like going to Disneyworld these days) or what to do when your dog won't stop breathing in your face at every turn (because I don't ding dang know).

The truth is, I'm just tired of the last post sitting here, with its unflattering picture of Riley Girl and its blatant lie (I'm sooo not in Canada anymore, eh).  I have nothing for you.  Nothing to give.  I gave at the coffee shop.  Seriously.  I've been writing, but not for your benefit, or for my personal benefit.  Today, it was 4 1/2 pages of a literature review on robust optimization and its applications to network design.  Don't cry, I promise I won't mention it again.

So I've got nothing left to offer.  Life is beautiful, I'm grateful for the days and I love my baby and only sometimes think about re-homing my dog and Handsome and I celebrated (in the loosest sense of the word) our 6 year anniversary and he's only got 13 shifts left at his full time job here.  I'm sure there are feelings about all of that, but I don't know what they are and I'm too burned out to look for them.  I've got 16 (really 15 at this point) days left to finish writing my PhD dissertation, and its taking everything I've got.  I actually let RG stay at daycare for (wait for it) 7 hours today.  Personal record.  When the world is my oyster, I average about half that per day, because I'm peculiar like that.  But the world is not my oyster and there is no pearl, but instead meetings and writing and deadlines and journal articles.

This is a season, but while this season sits here (for the next 2 weeks), this post is likely going to sit here.  So that is why I've peppered it with some of my favorite pictures.  So that when I have a spare moment and I click over here to see if there's anything I can read in the 2.4 minutes left of my break, I can look at lovely pictures that make my heart happy.

Keep on keeping on, my friends, July 10 will be here before we know it!

<3 M.

French and Other Things

I'm in Montreal, friends, and its so... French.  And yet still Canadian.  Or Canadienne, depending on your predilection.  I had my final conference presentation as a student today, and it went really well - apparently, I play pretty well to French audiences.  Je m'appelle Ariel. (That was my French name in high school.)

I love the Frenchness in the air so much.  I haven't gotten much of a chance to use my 4 years of hard-earned Francais ever since I finished French IV and then tested into French I in college.  Nope.  But last night, I told my server "Bon soir!" and the homeless man in the street bowed and wished me a beautiful night, "madameoiselle".  I'm able to read a lot of the signs around town, and I can get a working knowledge of instructions, so long as they are told slow enough.  I had some frites for lunch, then la glace for dessert.  Its everything I could wish, if I had even known to wish.  I had actually forgotten that there was going to be Frenchosity here, so it was a fabulous surprise!

Friendly PSA - if you have to chose between too-small and too-big shoes, always chose the too-small.  Big shoes won't shrink, but small shoes might stretch.  I made that mistake today, and I now have a pair of 2-inch black heels, Nine West brand.  Anyone interested? 9 1/2, which is apparently a half-size bigger than what my feet require.  Who knew!?

I've currently shut down my online shops, seeing as I've got 5 weeks to finish my PhD dissertation, 7 weeks to prepare to defend it, and 9 weeks to pack up my house, so...  I've had so much fun designing and then making the bags, but I've gotta take a break for at least a little while, in order to do my best work.  Thank you all so much for the support and purchases!  I will be sure to let y'all know when I'm able to re-open.

And now, I'm going to nap.  Because when Mama is away, she gets to nap whenever she wants to.  And she doesn't change any diapers, and she misses it all just a little too much.  Peace & love, friends.

<3 M.

The Well Is Dry

It feels that the well has run dry, figuratively.  I don't want to speak of such a thing literally, because several of the houses we're looking at aren't on city water, and a well running dry is a scenario I don't want to play in my head.  But figuratively, I'm not feeling very creative.  I make the things I have to make.  I cook food that is unimpressive but fast and sometimes its just fast food.  But I just don't feel "it".  The "oooh my, this is perfect for blogging about!!" feeling. 

There was a second there where I feared I had lost "it" and then I realized that I hadn't had "it" in the first place.  I also realized that I'm tired of putting quotation marks around "it" and that I find double letters (like puTTing and leTTers) to be too (tOO) much trouble and I'm done with them.  Which is also an indicator that I'm just D-U-N done.  

What I'm trying to tel you is that my brain is fried and it sems that a smal part of it has fragmented and thinks that I should stil be doing all. the. things. and I just can't.

I'm also tired of purposely not writing any repeated letters, just to make a point, and so I'm done with that now.  BOOKKEEPPING.  Look, I can still double-letter with the best of them!  And that in itself fuels the teensy part of my brain that expects a fully functioning Mariah.

As I explained to my mother, we are in survival mode 'round these parts, and so today when I sent her the bag that she had won from Kerrie's giveaway (yes, my mom won, and no, I hadn't already made her a bag, and yes, I'm terrible), I wrote Happy Easter, Happy Mother's Day, and Happy Birthday on the package.  So I'm good through 4th of July with her.  

So basically, I wanted to let you know that this space will likely be scattered and a bit of a brain dump and also kind of quiet for a while.  And by "while" I obviously mean until September, when I will *hopefully* be settled and groovin' and doin' my thang without upset.  HA.  I feel like come September, I'll be linking back to this post to point out how ridiculous my plans were.  But whatevs, a girl has to dream.  And I dream of September.

In other news, I had to receive an award tonight which makes me feel highly uncomfortable.  It doesn't help that I was the last person to receive an award, so the entire time that I'm clapping for others and being impressed with their bio's, I'm rehearsing the walk up to the podium in my head.  I'm mentally receiving with the left, shaking with the right.  I'm curious if my bra strap is showing and grateful that I don't have to walk very far so I can turn around quickly in case it is.  The dress I wore tonight was the one that I altered back in April so that I could breastfeed while wearing it.  Kind of gave me flashbacks for a minute when I put it on, and I find it funny how something that I devoted so many hours to for so long (12 months, 1 day, to be exact) seems so foreign now.  And by altered, I mean that I sewed bright red zippers into both sides of my plum dress, because that's what my MIL had on hand 20 minutes before we had to leave for Handsome's cousin's wedding.  Luckily I didn't have to fist pump when I received my award, and so no one saw the zippers.

Handsome did take an hour or two off of work to come to my awards banquet, though, so I am going to count it as a date, albeit a very lame one with mediocre food.  But still, a date, on the books for April.  I've got plans in my very teensy fragmented brain for better dates, one to the brand new Cabelas (for him) and one to the indoor trampoline park (for me) (and my friend Meghan) (its gonna have to be a double date).  But I think those might have to be May dates.

Also - my dogwoods have died.  Shortest dogwood blooming ever.  The blossom's lives cut short by an ill-timed and unforeseen frost.  The  Azaleas have put in an even poorer showing that usual, which is almost impressive in a way, seeing as how they're often pretty for exactly 3 days.

In closing, my daughter looks like a construction worker when she wears tank tops.  That is all.

<3 M. 

I Refuse To Apologize

Spurred on my my last post, and remembering again my love for lists, I've decided to make a running list of things I refuse to apologize for.  It makes me feel strong, and reminds me that I don't have to conform to things.  And I want to remember those things.

Riley's List:
Anything.
This includes her love for waffles, her perpetually messy face, her bedhead, and her aggressive friendliness

I refuse to apologize for:

• My love for lists.
• My lack of decorating prowess (see also: the number of blank walls in my house, the lack of curtains-that-touch-the-floor, and my lack of affinity for door wreaths).
• Making my husband watch Frozen.
• Loving to cook and going so far as to make my own butter, granola bars, and waffles on a weekly basis.
• Not understanding pop culture references.
• My excessive use of pop culture/gansta slang, yo.  Fo realz.  Its cray.
• My sharp shooter abilities.
• Liking my dog less, now that I have a child.
• Having a child that likes to go to sleep at 5:15 PM, and likes to sleep until 7AM.  Its flirting with hibernation, I know.
• My pattern of aggressive friendliness
• My over-inflated sense of skill with fancy text prints
• The number of pictures I take/keep/print/hoard
• Enjoying sewing more than clubbing
• Cracking myself up.  Regularly.
• Using big words and liking it. (had to add this after I wrote the bottom paragraph!)

Ha.  That next to last one?  The one about clubbing?  Made me laugh.  But all kidding aside, what do you need to stop apologizing for?  What do you need to just own?  As I'm learning this year, owning your own proclivities is the first step to getting more swag, and everyone needs more swag ;)

<3 M.

Baby Toys :: 1 Year Old

I should preface this list with a few things.  First, an apology for the over-abundance of lists.  Lazy blogging, maybe.  Favorite form of blogging (for me)? Definitely.  I love lists.  Maybe you love them too.  In which case, I do not apologize.  In fact, I take that apology back altogether.  I am actually developing running list in my head called "Things for which I refuse to apologize", and my love for lists is now on it.  Right alongside the fact that I made my husband watch Frozen with me, despite him going "Really?  Reeeally?" every 15 minutes or so.  I just kept saying to him, what I say to you re: my lists and my love for email shorthand > I do not apologize.

However, since I'm not prefacing this post with any apologies, I am going to preface it by saying that I have a somewhat immobile 1yo.  She has a few push-behind toys that basically seem like preparation for grocery carts, and she L-is-for-the-way-you-look-at-me -OVES them.  But my list today is for the sitting-down, standing-at-a-coffee-table, chillin'-like-a-villian times.  

1. Stacking Dolls

I love these little dolls!  And the best part is, so does Riley!  I ordered the dolls plain off of ebay (I think I typed "blank Russian Nesting Dolls").  They come in sets of 3 & 5, mostly.  But then I did something clever. I had them mailed to my SIL so that she, the one with the painting skillz, could personalize them for me.  I told her to "go wild" and she took me seriously, painting these cute little wild animals!  My favorite thing is the  detail on each of these.  The fox?  There are little fish jumping in the background.  Riley has just gotten to where she can take them apart AND put them back together.  If you keep up on Instagram, you know that made me one proud mama :)

2. The classic Sorter.

We mostly roll the wooden toy train in this house (not a real train, she's too young for that), but a friend got RG this classic sorter box, and she loves it.  She's played with it for about 4 months now, but she's just getting good with putting the pieces in.  Maybe that's behind what other babies do, I have no idea and I'm not concerned.  I'm excited for her to be able to keep playing and growing with this toy for a while yet!

3.  Stacking Rings

There once was a set of stacking rings.  The rings, they lived like kings.  Kings of the workshop in California, where they were made and boxed and had no dings.  But the King of the rings, they went one day to the house of a little girl with one swing.  That girl, she loved the rings, although she did not know they were kings, and she gave them many bumps and dings, until 3 of the rings grew wings and got flinged and then there were three left.  The end.

4. The anti-toy

AKA - My wallet.  Riley loves my wallet.  She loves to pull out all of the cards, then hold the cards, and show them to people, and cause them to exclaim that "Isn't she starting early!" and "Thats what girls do, spend money" and a million and four other sexist comments to which her long-suffering mama smiles and nods and then leaves and thinks of a great comeback.  But really.  This one?  In the car?  Best. Toy. Eva.

So that's our list.  They're mostly non-interactive toys.  Because we're descended from communists, yes, but also because I heard/read/dreamt somewhere that the more interactive the toy, the more passive the child; the more passive the toy, the more interactive the child.  Which made sense to me.  And I detest passivity.  So we've gone mostly that route.  Plus, I hate noise. SO. DANG. MUCH.  So I tend to shy away from electronic noise machines.

(whoa!  sorry to get all negative there at the end.  who knew I had such strong feelings in me on a Wednesday!?)

What does/did you 1yo play with most?

<3 M.

Little Things :: Big Happy

I've gone to ground, friends.

The to-do's are piling up faster than ever, there's feelings floating around in the air, and Handsome has been working overtime.  Oh, and baby girl started daycare this week, and she's not napping and cranky.  It is cray cray up in this hizzouse.  I cry every morning, Handsome just wants an hour or two to do whatever he wants, and Rileygirl, well, she still doesn't speak English, so we have no idea what's up with her.

So it's been deep with the funk around these parts, and I'm tried of it.  I tried to write yesterday, and even started writing a letter to my babydaddy, which usually just flows right out of my fingertips, but not yesterday.  I got 3 sentences in and just quit.  There wasn't any happy inside me - it was all funk.  And while I'll occassionally hit you with some not-happy, I wasn't about to throw that funk at you.  If I didn't like the way I was feeling, I was fairly certain that you wouldn't be excited to read about it.

Nothing much has changed today.  Just more piled on, truth be told.  But I'm tired of barely surviving, and so I'm going to thrive, dangit, and as a start, I'm gathering my own happiness.  I've just collected some little things that bring me joy and peace and sunshine and rainbows and unicorn tears (they're happy tears - unicorns are never sad [lie!]).

1. Those crossed ankles.
It's her default position, whether she's reading or eating or chilling.
I love that she does that.

2. The way she trusts us.
No fear.
2b. The fact that we haven't yet dropped her in a serious way.
Handsome & I are both so uncoordinated, I really thought it would have happened by now.
We call this picture "Future Olympian - Pairs Skating"

3. The light in our bathroom this afternoon
4. The way my house feels when its all clean
5. The good fortune of the toilet lid being down when RG wandered in there

6. Puddles and an adventurous little girl
7. A warm afternoon

8. This guy
Particularly when he gets to do what he excels at.
Handsome rockin' it = my heart pitter-patt-ing

9. The fact that someone, anyone, can still find value in a Blockbuster card

Yes, they're mostly pictures of my little family doing our everyday things, but that's where I live, that's where my days are spent.  So I reach to find beauty and joy and happiness in the everyday things, in order to be in love with my life.  And now, I'm going to bed, happy because of all of these pictures and also because my tummy is full of these and my house smells like this. :)

What are your little happies?

<3 M.

What I Learned in February

I (re)learned that I love using a machete.  Love it.  Like, if someone says "Hey Mariah, do you want to get a pedicure while munching on Thin Mints and watching Air Force 1, or hack down saplings in your backyard with a machete" then I'm all like "Do I really have to choose?  Can't I mach-et-tay first, and pedicure later?"  Love it so much.  The blisters you get on your hands, makes me feel alive.  Foolish, but alive.  (Gloves?  What are these gloves you speak of???)

There is no such thing as being excessive when it comes to baby pictures.  Remember this book I was working on?  Well, we finished at (81) 12"x12" pages, plus the cover.  And there's still so many pictures I didn't include.  Of course, I don't really remember those pictures now, and I won't remember the pictures that I didn't include when I'm showing this mammoth book to RG's homecoming date, but I will definitely remember all of the pictures I did include, and so I'm glad I went big instead of staying home.

To double-check personalization.  Remember this picture?

Well, I used my awesome giveaway winnings from Pear Tree Greetings to print 50 of these postcards, and I mailed them to friends and family, with the default return address of somewhere in Boston.  I'm half hoping that at least one of the postcards was addressed wrong and that it got returned to sendered to Miss Kaitlyn Broody, whoever she is.  Whoops!

Schmetz Needles are the shmetz if you're sewing leather.  Size 18.  LL.  Like a hot knife through buttah.  Or at least not super frustrating and hair-pulling-out and have-to-re-sew-and-now-I-hate-everything.  For me, those were the Organ needles.  Shmetz is the shmetz, that's all you have to know.  There are no competitors.

I am a hippie.  Apparently Handsome's shift buddies are taking bets as to when I'll stop shaving, since I've so clearly gone off of the deep end.  I would like to say that I've gotten verbal agreement from more than one friend that if I stop wearing a bra, they will stage an intervention for me, because for me to do that, well, I've done lost my everloving mind.

Girlscout cookie names are regional.  Who knew!?!  For example (i.e.- the only example that I know of), please look at the following cookie and tell me what you would identify it as:

Your answer?  Its a Samoa if you grew up in the north, and a Caramel Delite if you ate these suckers in the south. BECAUSE (wait for your mind to be blown) there are two bakeries that are licensed to make GS cookies, and they each call the cookies by a different name. Turns out, there's a whole bunch of information available about them, which you can read here and then write about in 30 days for "What I learned in March" if you so desire.

Babies are easy to pack for if you forget all of their things.  Followed quickly by learning that babies don't need all of their things, but little-but-not-dresser-drawer-little babies do sorta kinda need a place to sleep that they can't crawl out of and hypothetically hit their heads on the underside of the bed at 5:30 in the ayem because they've sleep-crawled halfway under a Queen.  Hypothetically.

I'm sure I learned other things.  I hope.  I think I might actually keep a running list, so that I can have better information to share with you.  Because I know you're concerned that my mind is full of leather and ruffles and pictures of RG and not much else.  And that's valid.  So to prove to myself and you, I'm going to keep better records.  Unless, of course, at the end of the month, I find my list contains nothing but those topics, in which case I'm going to fudge it.  Because I do what I want.

<3 M.

The 7 Stages of Wanting :: Baptist-Raised Edition

A friend told me once about her friend who, on the day of her wedding, kept exclaiming "How am I even supposed to feel right now!?!"  I'm feeling that.  Whatever it is.  Whatever the feeling is when you've got excitement and hope and expectation and a lack of courage and nervousness and fight-or-flight and fear and a tinge of apathy.  All of the feelings.  A great & many feelings, if you will.  

There's nothing big going on, but Handsome and I keep having conversations about what we're going to do in the future, when I graduate, when there seems like there should be a job.  Which job?  Any job?  No job?  Job up home?  Job in a new place?  Job with a guy named Job?  <Did that happen to anyone else while reading that?  The word "job" started to look like the guy named "Job"?>

There's all of these questions and I WANT.  I want an answer.  I want to know.  I want to be let in on the secret that is the rest of my life.  Gah, I just want to know the next big step.  I keep looking at Handsome, as we have these conversations, and asking him if everyone else feels like this at this stage of life.  Does anyone anywhere feel settled?  I want to feel settled.  He says everyone else is just as unsettled as we are, and that he's done talking about any of it and we're finished having this same conversation over and over and I have to finish my PhD but then he just. doesn't. care.  He wants some radio silence on this one.  

In case you haven't been around for any of my quarterly life crises in the past, here's the boiled down, maple syrup version.  In first place, for choices of "what to do with our lives in the future" we'd like to move back around family, and have jobs.  That last part is really the kicker.  In second place, we'd like to live where we are, let Handsome retire at 50, enjoy the southern life, raise cows on our friend's farm, and me have a job, too.  Again, the job thing.  Bah.  In a very very very far removed third choice, I would get a job and we'd move somewhere new and start over again.  Like, not even something we'd like.  To compare it, we've got Andre the Giant in first place, Michael Jordan in second place, and the King of Munchkin Land in third.

Today I heard a whisper about a maybe possible might-happen-but-might-not next step, and it made my heart leap and my hands get sweaty.  I think I want it.  And then I descended into the 7 Stages of Wanting.

Stage 1-  Attraction.  This involves no thinking.  It's a gut reaction.  It's the reason I've bought waaaay too many bags of Cadbury Mini Eggs.  See/hear > want > take.  Toddlers do this all the time; they don't get past this stage. But we're bigger than toddlers, so we get more stages.  And more chocolate eggs.  Praise be.

Stage 2-  Prayer.  C'mon.  I was raised a good little Baptist.  As soon as you want something, you start praying about it.  Fervently.  Sans ceasing.  Like rapid fire on Heaven's door.  From my lips to God's ear.  Eventually, coherent prayers lapse into "PleaseGodPleaseGodPleaseGodPlease".  Finished, as always, with a "if it's Your will."  This pronouncement is the springboard by which we launch ourselves into Stage 3.

Stage 3 - Doubt.  A.K.A. uncertainty, wavering, and motive exploration.  "Perhaps I want this because I'm selfish." was the first one, followed quickly by "This still might not be the thing that God has planned for me." If you're not careful, you can spiral down this staircase into all different types of doubting, ending you up at places like "Why was I born in the first place" and "What have I even done with my life".  This is the gateway doubt.  Next thing you know, you wonder if you're really even seeing colors correctly.  But I digress.  Stage 3 doubting is where you question if the thing you're wanting is even worth wanting, if it's right to want it.  But then you rally.  

Stage 4 - Affirmation.  You've been through the doubting stage, you've examined your motives and you know what?  They're sound.  They're not totally self-serving, although you do want the thing you want because it seems best to you.  And it makes your heart jump and your palms sweat.  And it's not contrary to any scripture and it is something you've been praying about and hoping for an answer to.  Mr. Thurman would approve, you know that much.  

Stage 5 - Rabidity.  You want, and you're sure its okay to want it.  And so now, you want it with a vengeance never seen before with the eyes of man.  You want it like crazy and you feel you must convey that to Omnipresent God with repeated prayers, thoughts, chatting, dreaming, pleading, bargaining, and begging.  Because otherwise, He wouldn't know how much you want it.  And if God doesn't know how much you want it, you might not get it.  

Stage 6 - Realization.  You realize quite a few things in Stage 6.  Things like the fact that God. already. knows.  He knows how much you want it.  He does.  And yes, He understands that you are excited and nervous and scared and apathetic (as a defense) and that you're feeling all of the feelings.  And you realize that no amount of wanting is going to make it so.  Yes, you should work towards it, but spending all of your energy on the wanting will leave you with precious little for the doing.  Finally, you realize that its not up to you.

Stage 7 - Release.  This stage has also been called "Remembering".  You remember that God's got it under control.  All of those burning questions you have, that uncertainty you're nurturing like a pet rabbit?  God has already seen the day when all of your questions are answered.  He goes before you.  So go ahead, have a bit of want, but don't make the thing you want into an idol by meditating on it and using all of your energy to achieve it.  Release it to go and be the little opportunity it was always meant to be.  At this point, you still pray about it, but that little ending you tacked on earlier, now you mean it.  "Your will be done" or the Southern version, "God willing and the creek don't rise."  That's the focus after Stage 7.  And there is peace.

Trust me, I've wanted many a thing.  Assuming I make it past Stage 1, I mostly hang out in Stage 5.  In my more lucid moments, I dabble with Stage 6.  I'd love to be in Stage 7; I fight towards that.  

Speaking of wanting.
RG wants to walk, but she's pretty much hanging out in Stage 1.
Such a toddler.

Good night, sweet friends.  One way to silence the wanting is to sleep it away, and that's my plan.  Perhaps in the morning, re-strengthened, I'll be better able to make my way towards Stage 7 - God willing.

<3 M.

No More New

I've got ideas, so many ideas.  And I'm sitting here in my sewing/guest room, thinking about all of the things I want still to design and make, and I spy with my little eye the foam balls that I bought to make a mobile for Baby M, before we knew her as Riley Girl.

I'm a little behind, you could say.

I intend to make these things.  Its just, you see, I have so very many ideas.  And the new ones, they always seem so much shinier than the old ones, and you know shiny always gets your attention (except for photographs - I totally prefer matte!).

This seems a little dramatic, but I think it might be time to put the kibosh on new ideas, until I get some of the current ones moved from "pinned" to "did".

One big plan I have includes these solid fabrics right here, along with a few others, some black Essex Yard Dyed Linen, and the fabulous Vintage Quilt Revival* book.  Big plans.  Queen-sized plans.  Because I've been sleeping with cowboys for far, far too long.

Oh, and if you squint, you can see some paper lanterns in the top left corner of that picture.  Those were decorations for RG's birthday party that I figured could do double duty as permanent decorations in her room.  So I bought two dowel rods, with yet another set of plans to make yet another mobile.  Here's hoping it's not a year from now and I'm still looking at those.

I've also got this quilt that I have made exactly zero progress on, but I am still excited about

And remember this super sweet ruffley quilt?  Well, I've gotten a number of questions about it, so I'm planning to make a tutorial, and a few quilts in the process.  But, uhm... yeah.  I've got the goods for it, just not the gumption, apparently.

And then I have a plan to make more of these guys, because they're adorable and RG's favorite lovey, and I just enjoy them so much.  And I want to figure out a way to make a toddler-sized backpack for a little love's birthday that is fast approaching.  Oh yeah, and bags, too.

As if these ideas weren't enough to be filling my head with, about once a week, Handsome & I talk about reno-ing the downstairs bath, putting in wood floors, and scrubbing the outside of the windows so that we can re-glaze and re-caulk.  And did you know today was 75?  And that it smelled like spring here?  Which immediately makes my mind go to planting...

I do exhaust myself, if that's any consolation.  But anyhow, no more new, that's my motto.  There is nothing so pressing that I have to buy it/obtain it before these projects get done.  Of course, now that I have set boundaries for myself, I want nothing more than to burst through them and do something contrary.  Because I'm hard-headed like that.  Oops!  I just linked to my storenvy shop, and it reminded me that I have another chenille baby blanket that only needs the binding sewn on and then it'll be done.  Add that to the list.

My hope is that next time I get the urge to make something, I can come back to this list and find something here that grabs my attention.  Some idea that's gotten better with age, a little "dust on the bottle" if you will (hashtag: david lee murphy & me 4 eva).  If nothing else, my now empty spending account & 28 yards of newly purchased fabric should help me remember (I kid you not. On either count!)

Are you making?  Share share!  Do you have the same treasure trove of 1/3 finished projects as I do?  Please tell me I'm not alone!

<3 M.