New Goals

I have goals.  Often they change with the moment.  Sometimes they are stated, and sometimes they are obvious only in reflection.  Like tonight, apparently, my goal was to consume waaaay too many not-even-my-best-ever no-bake cookies.  Apparently, my goal was to consume so many that I had to resort to desperate measures to undo all that snacking.

(a) I hate that guy's commentary.
(b) sometimes I think I don't like him as a person very much, either.
(c) I only made it through 25 minutes.
(d) that 25 minutes "undid" 2 cookies

But let's talk about intentional goals.  Measurable, observable, and with a deadline.  The good type.

Last week my goal was shoppe-related: 3 new purses made by end of business on Sunday.  And I reached that goal.  I had a few spare hours, thought, "gee, what ever will I do?" and my goals directed me; laundry?  No way!  I've got purses to sew!  New shoppe goal?  3 "small" sewn things by next Sunday.  Ima gonna knock it out!

This Sunday I made a new goal: 4+ days this week with bible & prayer time.  I need this.  My soul needs this.  The big changes God is about to wrought (I don't even know what that means) in my life need this goal to be achieved.  So this morning, instead of 16 more minutes of sleeping, I did it.  Because my goal gave me direction.

And now, after an abominable showing this afternoon, I have a new goal.  Not to supersede the others, but alongside them.  This new goal can be summed up in one word: Punctuality.  I am a firm believer, especially in the business world, but in a person's personal life, as well, that punctuality shows respect.  It suggests an understanding that the other person has value and their time is important.  And me?  Well, I seem to be forever running behind.  

And that's going to get my behind in deep trouble if I don't shape up.

Morning Lies

I did it again.  I said I wouldn't, but it seems that's just another lie to add to the pile.

I lie to myself in the mornings.  Like a ... well, like a lying liar who lies, I suppose.  Last week I started getting up about a half-hour earlier in order to read my bib-le, and it has only gotten worse.  Let me take you through this morning so you can see what I mean.

6:20 [first alarm] Lie: Oh, I set that earlier than needed so I could snooze.

6:25 [second alarm] Lie: Okay, now I'm mostly awake, I'll use this time to start praying.

6:30 [third alarm] Lie: Okay, now I'm mostly awake, I'll use this time to start praying.

-- You'll notice that the lies aren't always different.  Because I lie to myself and pretend each time is the first time I've told it.--

6:32 [real Mariah wakes up] What the what?! I meant to get up 15 minutes ago! (not so much a lie, as an exaggeration) [gets up, goes and does the bible reading/praying thing.]

6:47 [while falling asleep during prayer, realizes that 8am class is cancelled for the morning] Lie: Well, I can still go to the gym at 8, but I just don't have to leave as early, because if I walk in at 8:05, that's okay.  [decides to go back to bed until Handsome gets home, usually around 7:15]

7:10 - 8:05 [half-asleep, waiting on Handsome.  No, not at all like sleeping beauty.]

     Lie: Man, it feels like it's been a really long time.  But I've noticed these last couple of mornings that
    20 minutes seems to take a long time to go by.  Handsome isn't here yet, so I can just keep
     sleeping.

     Lie: Wow, it's really light out.  Perhaps I missed "spring forward, fall back".  I'm sure it has nothing
     to do with how long I've been resting, since Handsome isn't home yet.

8:10 [Duke hears Handsome unlocking the door] Lie: Well, guess it's time for me to get up!  Wow, those 20 minutes really did me good.

8:11 [real Mariah looks at the time] Aww stink.  I did it again.

So I lie.  You ever do something like that?

A Lying (but well-rested) Liar,

TFW

A Loverly Weekend

Here's my question:  After a wonderful, off-the-charts, great great grand wonderful weekend, how does one go back to the regular day?  How do you relish the memories you've made these past 48 hours, and not sink into despair over the next... whatever 5*24 is?

I'm not sure.  I want to revel, I want to remember and smile and say "WONDERFUL!" really really loud, whenever someone asks me how my weekend was.  But the mind invariably drifts onward, and the future is looking cloudy, overcast, and even chilly, in contrast to the sunny, bright, and breezy last two days.

This will be my challenge this week.  I might not love it as much as I've loved the weekend.  I don't know that a person is exactly supposed to.  The weekday is, I claim without substantiated evidence, inherently different from the weekend.  But I know Monday has some treasures in it, I just have to find them.  I have to learn to love Monday for what it is, and not despise for what it can never be.

Remember, fair isn't the same for everyone, its giving each what it needs.  So I'll give Monday its due, and try and give it what it needs to be come a wonderful memory in its own right.  This girl right here, well, she might just have the right idea.  Of course, everyone's situations are different, but lets be honest: there's always someone with less time than you, and so you'd better enjoy the time you've got.

Duke wants you to have a good week, too.
He'd also like to know what to do with the excess tongue problem he seems to be having...

May your Monday be Merry & Bright,

TFW

Feels like change

Ever have a wiggling feeling, one you can't quite catch but feel all the same?  I've got one right now, and we've been chasing each other around for a week or so now.  The feeling that something/things need to change.  Not big changes, necessarily.  Just regular-sized ones.  I'm not sure what things, though.  So I'm making a list.  First, the small stuff:

• Activity Level (less TV, more running)
• Food Habits (less cereal for dinner, more vegetables)
• Sleeping Patterns (this one is tough, because Handsome keeps me on my toes with his crazy sched)
• Attention Paid to Duke-a-Loop (my puppy needs more exercise, just like me)
• House Duties (again, less TV, more regular action for the scrub brushes)
• School Work (more actual work done, less procrastination)
• Bib-e-la (reading it, praying it, living it)

Then comes the big stuff (that I don't have to decide on right now, but is good to think about):

• Moving
• Job
• Degree
• Car

It seems, as far as changes go, that the small large ones are easier to make.  Sure, they require more forethought, but as far as execution, they're mostly a one-and-done type deal.  The little changes are what seem to trip me up.  I would like to make it a lifestyle change, a whole turn around, rather than a promise I make to myself at the beginning of the year and feel guilty about later while I sit on the couch.  I'm just not exactly sure how to go about it.  I suppose, in making the small changes, it happens in a series of small decisions.  So I'm going to decide to go to bed right now, before its too late, and I'm going to decide to read my bible before I sleep, and when I get up in the morning, I'll try to make some more decisions again.

Schedules, schedules, schedules...

Reno, baby.  Its not quite Vegas.

I'm in Reno tonight, far away from Handsome.  And it wouldn't matter so much, except this is one of the rare weeks, happening right now, in which he has nearly 4 whole days off.  FOUR WHOLE DAYS!  And I'm 3 time zones away (which always throws me, but thats a story for another time!)  This lack-of-work event (and yes, you can call the presses if you desire) theoretically happens once every 6 weeks.  Reality, however, is closer to every 3-4 months.

Our schedules never match.  Not really ever once, that I can remember.  I tried to think back, thinking perhaps I was being dramatic about the whole thing, but really, I'm not.  Okay, maybe a little dramatic, but for the most part, it seems that when I'm available, he's not; when he doesn't have work, I do; when I get a class cancelled and have free time, he's already committed to something else.  This experience is frustrating, especially since I just like him so darn much!


My understanding is that making marriage work requires that two people spend an amount of time focused only on each other.  I'm not sure what the right amount of time is.  Do you?  Different people probably require different amounts (like me: a lot, and him: enough).  We're still trying to find it.  I do know that the best shot I've got is to make the time we do spend together as wonderful as I can.  Its not always my first instinct, when he's been away for 48+ hours and I've stored up loads of things to tell to/ask of him.  But I'm learning, and will continue.  He is, after all, my very favoritist subject!

Aren't we shnazzy and school-ish in our glasses?!  So Schmart!